•July 18, 2015 • Leave a Comment

If anyone following this happens to be contacted by DaLouranne, ignore anything she sends or says.  She has never had or asked permission to post anything I’ve written.  We’ve already contacted authorities in the past but it looks like someone is too stupid to get the idea.

Good old fashioned stalker.  Sad.

Strike 1

•July 18, 2015 • Leave a Comment

They were very simple fucking instructions. Leave my family and I alone. Leave my shit alone.

Fuck. Off.

Memory Lane

•July 13, 2015 • Leave a Comment

I think of places from my past I’d much rather sit to do this,
Places where the points between a dream and a thought might kiss,
Fading colors tell me of memories I know I’ll have to miss,

Like the storm drain in the woods, deep ravine, the serene unseen,
Or the lakeshore by my home, all alone, pebble laced broken glass, fishbone,
Railroad crossing, township line, hope ahead, home behind,

A bridge like a parasol blocks out the sun, stolen brews, too young to lose,
My basement stacked with new old news, peeling paint, foundation furrows growing mildew,
Blue plaid bedroom, handpicked beach glass jars, Loblaw’s, the bar, baseball cards,
On top of the school with unplanned malice, didn’t get caught, up with the chalice,

Across the street from that girl’s house, the convenience store where you stole your smokes, that spot behind the football field where you took your first toke off a fuckin’ Pepsi can, your Grandma’s house and Saturday nights, the nervous excitement from Mom-Dad fights, little league games, detention, the bus rides home and the long walks down the street in the middle of the night just hoping that something, anything, would happen,

I’m still strolling…

I think of places from my future where I one day hope to do this,
Places where old memories and crowning moments kiss,
You just gave birth to a memory, so just remember this.

Tuesday

•July 7, 2015 • 1 Comment

I’ve started 9 poems and I haven’t finished one,
I’ve been distracted all day by the feeling like I’m supposed to be doing something,

Oh, right, Tuesday…

Not bail outta work cuz you’re fucked up again and you’re pissin off and pushing away the last of your friends, not stay home in bed with a hazy crazy head while proud of yourself for how many poems you read…day,
Not hide in the attic when blacked out depressive overpowers the manic, not nose in a book on a screen in the window face down on a pillow wondering is SIDS is possible if you never grew up…day,
Not too beat up to sleep so stare holes in the wall in the places where I’ve put holes in the wall though the adrenaline now is different from then, this became fight or flight so long ago but you can’t run away from your own body so there’s nowhere to go so you go nowhere…day,
Make people hate you and alienate you, push, when they push back you bite though they feed you, in corners in thought in trouble distraught not talking not moving forsaking and using just taking and taking and taking…day,

It’s Tuesday…
Well, not anymore, it isn’t…

It’s fear of the judgements passed down by a friend and the shame of the let down the upcoming endgame the door slowly closing the click of the lock with the tick of a clock that stands still as the only company you keep…day,

It’s all day I’m sorry regret and remorse hide my head tuck my tail voice in whispers the stain of fail I wish I could learn to hide from myself…day,
It’s a you know, I know better regardless of reason this dodging and ducking is far out of season but I’m finding it difficult to get up or stand and I refuse to accept the title of man were it offered through sympathy or saw tongued sarcasm…day,
It’s a broken and battered, tears, dirty and tattered, tears, hungry and helpless, tears, sorry I’m here, tears, sorry I was there, tears, sorry I wasn’t there, tears, sorry I’m still not, tears, this isn’t worth it…day,
It’s a think of everything you ever did wrong and listen to your saddest song feel like shit I’m done I quit I just can’t take anymore of it just sitting and whining killing time and dying and hurting inside and out…day,
It’s a wasted day,
It’s an untasted day,
It’s an I’m not even proud enough to get out of bed now day,
It’s a these pills aren’t working so neither am I and I’m not too fuckin happy about it day,
It’s a fuck it day,
It’s Tuesday.

Listen Up

•June 21, 2015 • 1 Comment

I come alive in here, but not out there,
I come alive in here where there’s a little less air but more room to breathe,
It’s a place to hide in a space for hiding in an ace that’s already hidden up my sleeve,
It’s away and above and a spot to fall in love with the light in the dark and the sounds that make me start to spark,
Like a plug that’s being pulled but she’s still firing off the lightning,
And the way the white heat sheets of hate fork out from every pore of you because that’s just what these sounds do,
They let the lightning fly from fingers in phonetic phrases and fretboard waltzes,
When you curl up they crawl inside and stay in silence singing softly,
If you’re breaking down they ball you up back into fists for fighting life and beating drums and chests alike,
Every shake and shiver, every cone cry quiver, and the 4/4 score of the life I’ve lived,
The one I left behind,
And the one that I’m still learning

•June 15, 2015 • Leave a Comment

I always sang in my head with “We are the Champions”,

Sometimes a cool cat, I was never much of a (under)dog person,

Maybe that’s why the quietest words are always the harshest,

The sure thing was always my thing,

And now I’m so unsure of everything,

I stay in shape by going in circles,

But I reserve social as a prefix for a problem,

Which always come with questions,

Sadly, sometimes the solutions,

Are more confusing than the query,

Close your eyes and silence sound,

Heavy heads need to be laid down,

Theta wave at the people you see on matching picture screens,

Think of all the words they say and the things that happen every day,

All out of the rings you fight yourself in,

It’s just a movie,

It’ll be alright,

The scary ones are just dreams too,

•June 13, 2015 • Leave a Comment

It rises, burns,
Black tar sunshine,
A bullet hole for every forehead,
A blade for every back,
Unsatisfied and hungry,
Feeding on anything,
Just give it a reason,
Don’t double take,
Don’t talk back,
Just walk, walk away,
I don’t want my sun to shine today.

 
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