•February 8, 2015 • Leave a Comment

Headlong, deep end, don’t think, just do,
Credos of missed steps and good intentions,
Carelessness, thoughtlessness, foolishness, recklessness,
It doesn’t get any less bitter no matter how many times you taste it,
But you eat the truth every time,
Wash it down but it never stays,
And so here you are, all fucked up after exercising all of the above, once again,
and with your heart no less,
You do it every time but you smile through the pain,
Because you know what you want,
One day it’ll all work out,
One day it’s all gonna change,
One day you’re gonna throw yourself, blind and stupid, back into the deep,
Someone is gonna catch you,
Someday

•February 8, 2015 • Leave a Comment

If a smile wells up from inside a heart,
It looks a a little different,
It feels a little softer, and leaves you a little lighter,
Your heart is just like the Cheshire cat,
Only it didn’t just shoot smiles my way,
It shot them into my veins,
Left me dizzy sporting track marks all up and down my limbs,
And coming, running, back for more,
I dropped everything for a fix,
Let go of cold feelings when you kissed me,  Bid farewell to thoughts that didn’t make me feel quite as warm as you did,
It’s okay you had to take it away,
Because with that heart of yours, I know to believe,
All that glitters may not be gold,
But everything you touched sure feels that way.

•February 8, 2015 • Leave a Comment

I never put my heart into words,
Should’ve given some warning,
I was too busy finding my way out of your stare,
Handcuffed with concrete strapped to my feet, there was no choice but to dive into you and drown,
To sleep with your fishes filling my head, alone in my bed,
Because you knew how to swim,
While all I could do is sink so deep into an ocean of you,
I just wanted to stay at the bottom,
That’s what us bottom feeders do,
I would have stayed on your floor till the waters ran dry,
Just happy to breath you in,
Even if it killed me

1/25

•February 8, 2015 • Leave a Comment

Sometimes people are moments in the flesh,
Turning points with heartbeats that move you forward,
Revel in them as long as you can because you can’t hold on forever,
The splendor of it all locked deep within your heart,
Smile in remembrance of the warmth they bring,
Smile at the many moments yet to come,
Smile in the firelight they shine upon you,
Everything is different now,
New colors in life you’ve never seen,
And you’ve never seen so clearly before,
Keep smiling at the moments and heartbeats you’ve known,
Stand, breathe, feel the sunlight in a way so foreign and warm,
And march into the new day they bring

Softcover Savior

•February 1, 2015 • Leave a Comment

Sometimes hope is a paperback copy of a tome which many have read,
Black and white and seemingly endless,
How much shaping can can a page really manage as it hacks away at stone?
High hopes swirling and a meal of fresh butterflies,
Hope only cost me eight ninety five…

Pipe dreams

•January 29, 2015 • Leave a Comment

I had a thought occur to me on my way home today.  Well, it wasn’t as much of a thought as a memory.  When I was a little kid I used to lay in bed at night and fall asleep to a radio that was perched just above my head.  I had two dreams for myself around that time that used to bounce around in my head as I fell asleep each night.  The first one was to be a fuckin rock star.  Now, this was the late 80’s and very early 90’s so you can imagine some of the pictures I must’ve had in my head!  Guitars weren’t even a notion for me at that point so I couldn’t help but to imagine myself as the front man, belting it out for a shitload of fans and seeing them just lose themselves in the spectacle of a rock show.  My reasons for it were really simple.  Still, to this day, if a song gives me goosebumps (lots do) or it manages to take me to a different (and usually far away) place in my head, I am so utterly appreciative of that feeling that I wanted nothing more that to give that same feeling to anyone and everyone I could.  It was one of the greatest things in the world to me and, honestly, it still is.  Always loved it always will.
Which brings me to dream number two.  Now, we’ve all seen movies with a beautiful woman being serenaded and swept off her feet by a strapping young lad with a voice of gold.  If you haven’t, you at least know songs like “Layla”, “Oh Sherrie”, even “Uptown Girl”.  Cheese at its finest.  Yeah.  I wanted that to be me because dream number two was to be in love.  Simple.  I don’t know how many 10 and 11 year old boys lay in bed at night and fantasize about that but I always did.  I always wanted to be hopelessly lost in love.  Didn’t matter where I ended up, how much money or stuff I had, or where my life was going, as long as I was in love with someone and they were in love with me.  I don’t have any idea why I wanted that so bad.  It’d be one thing if it was a different kind of love but I wanted passionate love, with long stares, even longer kisses, shared silences that were pure peace.  This coming from a little kid, now strikes me as a bit odd.  I should have been dreaming I was Super Mario or a ninja turtle or some shit like that.  Nope. I wanted what I called “movie star” kisses.  Love.  All I ever wanted, all I’ll ever look for.  Nothing else ever mattered as much to me.  Now that I’m a little older, I’m not looking for pure bliss like I was then.  I know better.  No one is perfect, we’re all messed up somehow.  I don’t want perfect.  I think perfect would be boring, too predictable.  What I want now is a real, messy, smile and tear filled love that could take on the world.  Not what you see in cute happy little date movies, I want the love the movie was based on with all the hardships and fights and make ups included.  Maybe it’s my own baggage and fucked up headspace, maybe something happened to me I never quite recovered from and I’m just trying to fill a hole.  I don’t know, but it’s there and it’s never gone away. 

Sadly, not all dreams come true.  Some things were just never meant to be and I’ve learned that in a lot of hard ways.  I’ve been through some experiences in my life that have made me question everything, including my hopes and dreams for my myself.  Sometimes you just have to realize that your lifelong dream just isn’t meant to be and you need to let go.  So I am.  Time to wake up.  I’ve only let go of one of them though…and it wasn’t the love. 

You’re out there.  You won’t be ready for me and I sure as hell won’t be ready for you.  I know me.  You’re going to mess me up bad! It’s gonna make a gorgeous disaster of things and we’re gonna regret it sometimes.  Might lose everything because of it but what is lost won’t even be missed in the face of what we gain.  It won’t be perfect.  It’ll hurt and make us cry.  We’ll laugh and hold each other all night.  We won’t need to say anything because our eyes already said it.  They’ll scream it at each other all the time.  It’s like we sing to each other, like rock stars, every time we look in each others eyes after we kiss.  We’re gonna mess each other up in all the right ways.  It’s gonna be fuckin beautiful.  You’re gonna be beautiful.  And I’ll finally live my dream.

Man card…REVOKED…

It won’t be missed either…

Kevin Burke…

•January 25, 2015 • 1 Comment

This guy is hands down my favorite and I think this poem is why.  Every single word punches holes through me and feels like they came out of my mouth.  Just replace the ADD with depression.

 
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